The Difference Between Men and Women
Men are primarily hunters and scavengers. We take our spears, and we assume that we are the only ones who know how to use one, and go out in search of the Wooly Mammoth. Then, after a long time in the forest, return to the village (no Mammoth usually) to grab a hunk of bread, and then join the elders around the fire perpetuating hunting stories that, for the most part, probably never happened.
We are natural story tellers. But we must be doing something when we relate to others. Arms and legs must flail in defiance of gravity as we promote our unique view of the world.
Ever notice how, at a party, men gather at the pool table waving beers and cue sticks while telling inflated stories that incite grunts of laughter? Ever notice how women sit in a tidy crescent around the coffee table waving hands and stir sticks telling cat stories that incite peels of laughter.
Oh yes. The question. Maybe change the question. It’s waaaay too feminine. You must direct the man firmly, but gently, to do specific things. The trick is to pick those things that he will like in spite of his best efforts to make faces and generally communicate his unwillingness to cooperate.
Boys like to play. The first tasks you assign should involve play. “Honey, please play with little Jo or Joette for 20 minutes while I (pick something he’d hate to do) empty the hamper.”
Next time, you can ask him to a) play with Jo, and then b) empty the hamper while you start the wash. The list can get longer, but this is not really the point.
It’s about setting the context to teach a Neanderthal new tricks. The opportunity is there to make him a hero in his own mind. As he plays with little Jo, you find the right moment to come into the room with a camera and take a picture. “Oh honey, I couldn’t resist. You are such a Father. “
This is, albeit, a very simple example of manipulation. But ladies – it’s in your genes and your jeans. Men must be manipulated through single-minded tasks. Don’t paint the global parenting picture for them. Use your brain to get them to DO things with the little one, things they will probably excel at.
And when they do something that makes them feel good, they tend to be more easily involved in many other facets of family life. Perhaps it is better to assume a lower expectation of Fathers in some respects. They love their kids of course. But men do not respond well to nagging. We are task oriented. You manage and we do.
Reward us when we do. Thriow him a compliment. Give him a beer.
Of course this is where most women will say, “Forget it. I shouldn’t have to do anything.” Crap! It’s a two-way street, lady!If you want HIM to do something, then YOU have to do something.
And the pain is minimal. A little feminine manipulation is all it takes. (I thought women liked that kind of thing, anyway.)
Women have this nasty habit – remember I’m a man so let me finish – of expecting us to -well – just – KNOW what we’re supposed to do. We don’t! Please, get the concept. We sense, we avoid, we forget AND we just don’t know – you know?
However, we can be taught.
But puh-lease – don’t ever ever ever EVER say – “Honey, now don’t get defensive, but I really need you to support me with our child.”
We’ll get defensive and we won’t really support you all that well because now we feel guilty. Nothing worse than a guilty Neanderthal.
I don’t need as much coaching anymore. I even dry and brush my daughter’s hair at night. And you know something? She makes me feel like a hero.
