Kryton’s 2012 Predictions

Wii (Nintendo) will release — Wii Mii — the first virtual cell phone. A special feature allows you to virtually control what others say. In 2012, the only opinion everyone will agree with is yours.

Facebook will create a personals spin off — Face Off. In addition to filtering personalities through rigorous questionnaires, faces will be analyzed to determine how attractive the system thinks a face really is.

Food retail will have another competitor —- Super Foods. All the food carried at Super Foods will have super food qualities (anti oxidants, etc) as well as guaranteed diuretic qualities.

The use of cell phones and computers will be allowed on airplanes — for — yup — another fee.

The rate of divorces will drop substantially simply because there aren’t enough existing marriages left to support higher divorce rates.

Another cure for cancer will be found. Once again, we just won’t find out about it. Another alternative to oil will be discovered. Of course, no one will know.

The price of gas, real estate, taxes, and insurance will rise.

All people of same sex who are living together for at least one year will be considered common law as a result of the government’s realization (as well as lawyers) that these couples represent a new source of revenue.

Newly discovered 16th century French documents will prove that Nostradamus was a stand up comic.

New evidence will reveal that, according to an error of interpretation regarding the Mayan calendar, the world ended a long time ago. We just didn’t get it.